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Friday, November 18, 2011

Mike is dead

Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"
"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"
"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."
"What a horrible way to die!"
"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive cupboard comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."
"What a way to go, that's terrible!"
"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the cupboard off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the stairs but under his weight, the staircase breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken staircase poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."
"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"
"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen; tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."
"Man, what a way to go!"
"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."
"Now that is one awful way to go!"
"No no, he survived that..."
"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"
"I shot him!"
"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"
"He was wrecking, ruining and spoiling my house."



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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Fairy Tale

Short fairy tale:

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl 'Will you marry me?' The girl said,
'NO!'

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing
and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and scotch and left the
toilet seat up whenever he wanted.

THE END


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Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Logic

Abbas, a fresh computer graduate from a world class university goes for an interview in a Software company.
The interviewer is Waleed, a grubby old man. And the first question he asks Abbas, is “Are you good at logic?”.
“Of course” replies Abbas.
“Let me test you” replies Waleed.
“Two men come down a chimney. One comes with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?
Abbas stares at Waleed. “Is that a test in Logic?”
Waleed nods.
“The one with the dirty face washes his face”, He answers wearily.
“Wrong. The one with the clean face washes his face. Examine the simple logic. The one with the dirty face looks at the one with the clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So; the one with the clean face washes his face.”
“Hmm. I never thought of that” says Abbas. “Give me another test”
Waleed again holds up two fingers “Two men come down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?
“We have already established that. The one with the clean face washes his face”
“Wrong. Each one washes his face. Examine the simple logic. The one with the dirty face looks at the one with the clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So; the one with the clean face washes his face. When the one with the dirty face sees the one with the clean face washing his face, he also washes his face. So each one washes his face”
“I didn’t think of that!” says Abbas. ” It’s shocking to me that I could make an error in logic. Test me again!.”
Waleed holds up two fingers “Two men come down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?
“Each one washes his face”
“Wrong. Neither one washes his face. Examine the simple logic. The one with the dirty face looks at the one with the clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. But when the one with clean face sees that the one with the dirty face doesn’t wash his face, he also doesn’t wash his face so neither one washes his face”.
Abbas is desperate. “I am qualified for this job. Please give me one more test”
He groans when Waleed lifts his two fingers”,Two men come down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?
“Neither one washes his face”
“Wrong. Do you now see, Abbas, why programming knowledge is an insufficient for this job? Tell me, how is it possible for two men to come down the same chimney, and for one to come out with a clean face and the other with a dirty face? Don’t you see?



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