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Saturday, August 10, 2013

Doctor

We brought our newborn son, Adam to the pediatrician 
for his first checkup. As he finished, the doctor told us, 
"You have a cute baby." 

Smiling, I said, "I bet you say that to all new parents." 

"No," he replied, "just to those whose babies really are 
good- looking." 

"So what do you say to the others?" 

"He looks just like you." 

(Taken from: Docs daily chuckles)

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Friday, August 9, 2013

Bulls

A Young man wished to marry the Farmer’s Beautiful Daughter.
He went to the Farmer to ask his permission. The Farmer looked him over and said, “Son, Go stand out in that field. I’m going to release three bulls, one at a time. If you can catch the tail of any one of the three bulls, you can marry my daughter.”
The young man stood in the pasture awaiting the first bull. The barn door opened and out ran the biggest, meanest-looking bull he had ever seen. He decided that one of the next bulls had to be a better choice than this one, so he ran over to the side and let t he bull pass through the pasture out the back gate. The barn door opened again.
Unbelievable. He had never seen anything so big and fierce in his life. It stood pawing the ground, grunting, slinging slobber as it eyed him.
Whatever the next bull was like, it had to be a better choice than this one. He ran to the fence and let the bull pass through the pasture, out the back gate. The door opened a third time. a smile came a cross his face. This was the Weakest, scrawniest little bull he had ever seen. This one was his bull. As the bull came running by, he positioned himself just right and jumped at just the exact moment.
He Grabbed… But The Bull Had No Tail!
Moral Of the story:
Life Is Full Of Opportunities. Some Will Be Easy To Take Advantage Of, Some Will Be Difficult. But Once We Let Them Pass (Often In Hopes Of Something Better), Those Opportunities May Never Again Be Available.
So Always Grab The First Opportunity


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Thursday, August 8, 2013

Presence of mind

There was once a famous Jewish court astrologer named Isaac the Great. The King's mistress got sick and Isaac was called in from a prediction. He happened to know a bit of medicine as well and could see that she was going to die, so thought he would take the opportunity to bolster his credibility a little.

He said, "Your Majesty, she will die in three days -- it's in the stars."

Sure enough, three days later, she dies. The King is very angry so he blames the astrologer.

He calls Isaac in and demands, "Look into the stars and tell me the day of your own death."

Isaac the astrologer understands that the King is going to kill him so he looks at the Horoscope with great intensity and answers, "Sir, I can't tell exactly when, but I can see in the stars that the King will die three days after me."


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Monday, August 5, 2013

Who is perfect

A Man and his Girlfriend were married. It was a large celebration. All of their friends and family came to see the lovely ceremony and to partake of the festivities and celebrations. A wonderful time was had by all.
The bride was gorgeous in her white wedding gown and the groom was very dashing in his black tuxedo. Everyone could tell that the love they had for each other was true. A few months later, the wife comes to the husband with a proposal: “I read in a magazine, a while ago, about how we can strengthen our marriage.” she offered. “Each of us will write a list of the things that we find a bit annoying with the other person. Then, we can talk about how we can fix them together and make our lives happier together.”
The husband agreed, so each of them went to a separate room in the house and thought of the things that annoyed them about the other. They thought about this question for the rest of the day and wrote down what they came up with.
The next morning, at the breakfast table, they decided that they would go over their lists. “I’ll start,” offered the wife. She took out her list. It had many items on it enough to fill 3 pages, in fact. As she started reading the list of the little annoyances, she noticed that tears were starting to appear in her husbands eyes. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing” the husband replied, “keep reading your lists.” The wife continued to read until she had read all three pages to her husband. She neatly placed her list on the table and folded her hands over top of it.
“Now, you read your list and then we’ll talk about the things on both of our lists.” She said happily.
Quietly the husband stated, “I don’t have anything on my list. I think that you are perfect the way that you are. I don’t want you to change anything for me. You are lovely and wonderful and I wouldn’t want to try and change anything about you.”
The wife, touched by his honesty and the depth of his love for her and his acceptance of her, turned her head and wept.
CONCLUSION :In life, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don’t really have to go looking for them.
We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise. Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying when we can look around us, and see the wondrous things before us?
I believe that WE ARE HAPPIEST WHEN we see and praise the good and try our best to forget the bad. Nobody’s perfect but we can find perfectness in them to change the way we see them.

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Sunday, August 4, 2013

TyPING MIStAKE

These four classified ads appeared in a newspaper on four consecutive days. The last three hopelessly trying to correct the first day's mistake... MONDAY: For sale - Vishant has a sewing machine for sale. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Mani who lives with him cheap.

TUESDAY: Notice: We regret having erred in Vishant's ad yesterday. It should have read: One sewing machine for sale cheap. Phone 98407 16581 and ask for Mrs. Mani, who lives with him after 7PM.

WEDNESDAY: Notice: Vishant has informed us that he has received several annoying telephone calls because of the error we made in the classified ad yesterday. The ad stands correct as follows: For sale - Vishant has a sewing machine for sale; Cheap. Phone 98407 16581 after 7PM and ask for Mrs. Mani who loves with him.

THURSDAY: Notice: I, Vishant, have no sewing machine for sale. I smashed it. Don't call 98407 16581 as I have had the phone disconnected. I have not been carrying on with Mrs. Mani. Until yesterday, she was my housekeeper but she quit!

(TAKEN FROM SANTA BANTA)

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