Retirement

My friend and I were on a cruise through the Western Mediterranean aboard a Princess Liner. At dinner we noticed an elderly lady sitting alone along the rail of the grand stairway in the main dining room. I also noticed that all the Staff, Ships Officers, Waiters, Busboys, etc., all seemed very familiar with this lady.

I asked our Waiter who the lady was, expecting to be told she owned the Line, but he said he only knew that she had been on board for the last four cruises, back to back.

As we left the dining room one evening I caught her eye and stopped to say hello. We chatted and I said, "I understand you've been on this ship for the last four cruises". She replied, "Yes, that's true."

I stated, "I don't understand" and she replied, without a pause, "it's cheaper than a nursing home."
“How?” I asked
She explained as follows:

The average cost for a Nursing Home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:
1. Savings, which will only be $10 per day, and the rest can be put into the slot machines.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).
3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient An extra $5 worth of tips and your casino winnings will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 to 14 days.
7. TV broken? Light bulb needs changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience.
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the Nursing Home and break a hip you are on Medicare; if you fall and break a hip on the Princess Ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
10. And when you die, they just dump you over the side at no charge.
My conclusion: So, there will be no Nursing Home in my future. When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship.

[ Author Unknown -- from 'Buffalos Chips' ]

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Strange

• A medical student was working in the toxicology department at the poison control center. A woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. The medical student quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. The student told the mother that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away.
• Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the work field decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, they were quite surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is automatically activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed there.
• A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture. It was a picture of handcuffs.

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Consider Another Line Of Work

Bank robbery is not for everyone. One nervous Newport, RI robber, trying to stuff his ill-gotten gains into his shirt pocket, shot himself in the head and died instantly.
• Be Strong:
Then there was the case of the hopeful criminal in Swansea, Massachusetts, who, when the teller told him she had no money, he fainted. He was still unconscious when the police arrived.

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Sindhi

Ek jooth Zindagi kay 5 minute kam kar deta hai & Ek muskurahat Zindagi kay 10 minute bada deti hai…
SINDHI KA CALCULATION: Hanste Hanste jooth Bolo toh bi 5 minute ka Fayda hai

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Story with a moral

Teacher: “Rahul, 1 story sunao with a moral”
Rahul: “ Mein uske ghar gaya, wo so raha tha, phir woh mere ghar aya toh mein so raha tha”
Moral: “Jaisi Karni, Vaisi Bharni”

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